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Friday, October 30

There was this boy at the bustop with me today, I think around 2-3 years old. He called me: jie jie!!! Then i felt a sudden warmth in my heart. His big bright eyes were so innocent and pure. My sorrowness dissapeared suddenly. But i have decided not to share my happiness to anyone. Nobody cares anyway.

The two men i love absorbs all my energy away...
*tired*

Monday, October 19

Re-Hi

Hi all! Just wanna let u know that this blog is alive!!! LOL, its not dead... For the past few weeks, I've learned some lessons via my friends...

Don't, don't, don't ever try to share your BGR love on two different persons! You will hurt both badly. If you sense that you are sinking into it soon, make a decision fast and immediately, tell the other party that you are sorry! If not, there will be terrible consequences...

Oh ya, secondly (though it has not happen YET, but I'm afraid soon), don't make use of another person in order to forget the other!!! You will hurt him/her eventually, too, and even more deeply than the earlier situation.

Haha... These few months I was too happy le. It was indescribable. It has been years since I had this kinda feelings. All the friends are together happily, and helping out one another unconditionally. Just had a wonderful outing with Sam and Daph yesterday. We went swimming, KTV, and nearly pool. Haha!!! Both of them are two good friends to be with. It seems that I wouldnt be afraid of anything anymore as long two of them are with me. We 3 just cant live without each other. Dear friends, I love you... ^^

Friday, December 19

Happy Birthday!

Dear friend, today is your birthday. I know I'm actually not the closest to you among our friends, and I know that it is weird for me to write these, but I just wanna say thank you for everything you did for me and Peng all these while. I have asked for your help too many times le, and I don't even have the face to type it out here.

I really do not know what I can give to you on your birthday, because we do not know what you really need. But seeing your situation, me and Peng had discussed long enough and trust me, we had really built up lots of courage to give you that present. I do not know what you may think about it, and I seriously do not know what others may think about me and Peng upon giving you this present. (So please don't tell anyone about it). Cos I know people may scold us, or hate us, or say we negative or whatever. But I don't wanna do politically right things or do politically right words. I've had enough of all these rubbishes. I just wanna do what is really really right, and not deceiving anyone else anymore. Seeing you putting so much effort in helping us in so many ways, I seriously wish that we could really do something meaningful for you, that will truly help you, something that is really useful to you, and not just those useless gifts that you receive already and will chuck it aside at de. Because you have done too many things for us, but I, as a friend (though we seldom talk), realised that I did not do anything for you throughout these years.

The gift was suggested when I asked Peng what do you need most. We discussed over the phone for quite awhile, and we initially thought that we are not able to provide anything at all. Suddenly, I thought of that idea. When I told Peng about what I wanted to do for you, he said: Huh, can la, but very tedious de leh... Then I replied him that whenever we need help, you have never complained a single word. Then he say: Ok lor.

Millions of words are not able to express my thanks for you, but I sincerely wish you a very Happy Birthday from the bottom of my heart.

Wednesday, November 19

Mood: Happy Birthday

Why you still don't wanna return my call? Isit you dun friend me anymore le? Am I so irritating or what? It will be you birthday soon. I know that you will be very busy on your birthday due to your work, but I just wanna have dinner with you tonight, but you did not even wanna return my call for the whole day... I understand that you must have your difficulties. It might be your work, it might be your friends. But please, just let me know and give me an answer, and I will leave you alone.

This morning I called the Birkenstock headquarters to ask if they still have any stock for your size, and will I be able to get a cheaper price if I head down personally to the factory outlet. Unfortunately, the headquarters do not have any factory outlet, and they do not give discounts for the consumers. So that guy helped me asked the other outlets, and he finally get bk to me that there is still one pair left at the Wheelock's Place. This evening, I went down to Wheelock's Place, wanting to buy the pair of slippers for you as birthday gift. But I really do not know whether you will be meeting me anot. What if I buy le but you are not meeting me? So I practically sat outside the Birkenstock to wait for your return call for 2 long hours!!! In the end, I decided not to wait for you anymore le. And I'm not buying it for you le.

Despite of all these, you might not know that you are indeed a very special friend in my heart (not because you might be a gay), its because you are the only person (except Peng Peng lah) who knows all my true feelings towards the rest of the people around me, and is someone who will just keep silent and allow me to vent all my anger and unhappiness within me everytime when I needed to. I know most of the time I come to look for you instead of my other friends, probably its because they have their very own partners to look after to, and I do not want to disturb them.

Also, its mainly because you don't talk much. My other buddies talks alot. They interrupts, without letting me finish my words, the comments they give are so much more than what I have complained, they even assumes that they know so much about me, that they want to enlighten me immediately even before I finish my story. But all I want is just a listening ear, I do not want to get any feedback... Thus, you are still the friend who knows me the most.

Just to let you know, your silenceness and quietness sometimes really makes me worry. I do not know what you are thinking, and whether you are unhappy anot. I know that you usually don't express yourself very much, and seldom let others know what you are feeling. This is where I feel that I'm a failure as being a friend. What I could only do everytime is to talk to you, tell you things happening around me, and make you smile as much as I could (or maybe these are already my habit).

Sometimes I feel myself indeed very irritating towards you, sometimes ridiculous, and sometimes embarrassing. But you would always maintain your graciousness towards me, indirectly protecting me against harm (yeah, I know, though you do not always show), and seeing you smile would just put my mind at ease. I hope that I am also a person who is able to brighten up your day in one way or another. In fact, simply knowing that you are always there for me already makes my day. :)

第一次见面看你不太顺眼
谁知道后来关系那么密切
我们一个像夏天一个像秋天
却总能把冬天变成了春天

你拖我离开一场爱的风雪
我背你逃出一次梦的断裂
遇见一个人然后生命全改变
原来不是恋爱才有的情节

如果不是你 我不会相信
朋友比情人还死心塌地
就算我忙恋爱 把你冷冻结冰
你也不会恨我 只是骂我几句

如果不是你 我不会确定
朋友比情人更懂得倾听
我的弦外之音 我的有口无心
我离不开 Darling 更离不开你

你了解我所有得意的东西
才常泼我冷水怕我忘形
你知道我所有丢脸的事情
却为我的美好形象保密

Dear friend,

Wishing you a Happy Birthday~

Friday, November 14

Mood:

Dear child,

Learn to protect yourself
Protect yourself against all odds
Protect yourself from being taken advantage of
Protect youself from harm

Do not trust anyone

Do not help those who does not need help
Do not help those who are taking you for granted
Do not help those who are putting a test on you
Do not help those who are simply plain lazy
Do not help those who are able to do it themselves
Do not help the hypocrites
Do not help those who do not know love
Do not help those who think greatly of themselves
Do not help those who might want to harm you
Do not help those who might want to harm others

Initiate help to those who believes in love
Initiate help to those less fortunate
Initiate help to those who are sincere to others
Initiate help to those who help themselves
Initiate help to those who help others
Initiate help to those who are in despair
Initiate help to those who helped you when you were in need

Thursday, September 4

Mood: Stress

Last night I had a dream.

There is this girl and guy both so deeply in love. That girl, I will call it Lily, the guy, I will call him John. Lily has already got a boyfriend, Marcus. However, Marcus is always such a crazy and possesive person, who tortures Lily physically and scolds her without reason all the time. She got so hurt and depressed everyday, John would want to bring her out from Marcus' hand, to a far away place and live together. But Lily have been dragging this wish together with Marcus for a very long time, because she is too afraid to face the outcome of initiating break up to Marcus, as Marcus will get even worse emotionally, and might do her harm even more.

One day, John was determined to bring Lily out. He ran to Lily and tried to pull her away from Marcus. As expected, Marcus went uncontrollable, and hit Lily when he found out that she actually betrayed him. John protected Lily using his body, but she cried while rejecting his offer. John was stunned for a moment, wondering why Lily do not want to go with him. She slowly pulled out a pregnancy test kit from her pocket, stating that it is positive. She is having Marcus' child.

Marcus saw it and became contemptuous. He laughed and laughed very loudly, as if he has won the love war: "Haha! She will be mine forever!"

John, on the other hand, was dumbfounded. He turned to the wall, clinched his fist, and hit the wall hard into it.

Can anyone tell me what John is feeling exactly?

Saturday, August 23

Mood: Happy

Music is really my energy!!! I've been feeling so stressed up with all the things these days. My school work assignments, Osaka Challenge, and now CFA paper. I nearly broke down yesterday.

Just now, I heard 93.3 playing Mayday's 开天窗. I suddenly felt like crying with tears of joy. My mood brightened up immediately!!! I strongly recommend all stressed-up people to listen to this song, followed by another cute song, by 阿信 and 叮当,走火入魔. Great song! So sweet...

My mood has really lightened up compared with the last few days...