Mood: Stress

Last night I had a dream.

There is this girl and guy both so deeply in love. That girl, I will call it Lily, the guy, I will call him John. Lily has already got a boyfriend, Marcus. However, Marcus is always such a crazy and possesive person, who tortures Lily physically and scolds her without reason all the time. She got so hurt and depressed everyday, John would want to bring her out from Marcus' hand, to a far away place and live together. But Lily have been dragging this wish together with Marcus for a very long time, because she is too afraid to face the outcome of initiating break up to Marcus, as Marcus will get even worse emotionally, and might do her harm even more.

One day, John was determined to bring Lily out. He ran to Lily and tried to pull her away from Marcus. As expected, Marcus went uncontrollable, and hit Lily when he found out that she actually betrayed him. John protected Lily using his body, but she cried while rejecting his offer. John was stunned for a moment, wondering why Lily do not want to go with him. She slowly pulled out a pregnancy test kit from her pocket, stating that it is positive. She is having Marcus' child.

Marcus saw it and became contemptuous. He laughed and laughed very loudly, as if he has won the love war: "Haha! She will be mine forever!"

John, on the other hand, was dumbfounded. He turned to the wall, clinched his fist, and hit the wall hard into it.

Can anyone tell me what John is feeling exactly?